sai cosa significa...?

i say this a lot. when teaching english i try to refrain from using italian as much as possible. i speak clearly and at a moderately slow pace and then when i still see a confused face, i say, "do you know what ......... means?" then i have to actually back up my words in italian. i can honestly say i love teaching/tutoring english. i am looking into getting certified in teaching esl, but for now i think i prefer one-on-one instead of being a classroom teacher.

often it seems strange that i'm supposed to be learning italian but i need to study english grammar/terminology. teaching is enjoyable. my only problem is that i get anxious before every lesson, just as i do every week when i teach in young women's. it's not a lack of preparation, it's just a lack of confidence. i think. i'm working on getting over that. i guess sometimes it's just hard to feel capable. right now i teach about 4 english lessons each week and on a lesson in yw every week. i know it's only a total of 5 hours of teaching but for me it's a whole week of prep and stressing. but my favorite part is feeling like i've helped someone in some way after a lesson.

so i don't really know why i am writing about my teaching. i haven't updated my blog in a while, so yeah.

but life is good. i still feel lucky every single day. and i really mean it. i am married to my best friend and i'm loving every moment. okay, it's still a little weird to be living in italy. i must admit. but i don't really want to live anywhere else. i'd prefer lower prices, but i wouldn't change it for the peace and calm that i feel here. i wish this for everyone: to be in a place they not only call home, but that they feel is home.

i had a dream that i was 300 pounds

no actually i didn't but someone from the barenaked ladies did. and that song popped into my head when i thought, "if i come to america weighing 300 lbs. i'd like my friends to know why." so this is an entry dedicated to the delicious treats in italy that could cause a person to weigh 300 pounds.

#1 GELATO

Oh this tasty treat looks innocent enough. It's just "ice cream" after all, isn't it? I don't know what world people are in when they say gelato=ice cream, but they clearly never made it to Italy.

#2 PANDORO

The bread of gold. It's ridiculous. Really it is. Especially when it has soft chocolate pieces inside. This sweet bread is habit-forming so be careful. And the Bauli brand is my favorite. All the Italian advertising can tell me different but I'll stand my ground.

#3 BACI

I've had my share of Italian kisses. So for me, I have to say this is the second best kiss in the world. Chocolate. Hazelnut. Cute little messages of love in every bite. I swoon over these every time I see them in the grocery store.

#4 NUTELLA

If you've ever asked yourself, "Is there food in heaven?" I answer, "Where else would Nutella come from?!" What doesn't taste better when smothered in Nutella? It makes the world a better place. Regardless of how many calories are in each tablespoon.

i could continue with others, but this will do for now. and these are just the sweets!

il pianista

i have wanted to watch "the pianist" since it came out but just barely got the chance today. we've all seen movies about the holocaust. several. sometimes what becomes too familiar seems to lose its effect. movies about the holocaust though never lose their effect on me. i always give in and cry. it was so hard for me today to watch this movie. being far away from my family made it so. seeing families ripped apart from each other was terrible. i couldn't help but imagine being one of those hysterical women reaching for her sister or father as one of them are being pulled away.

then it makes me wonder, what makes me so blessed? why i am so blessed to live in the time and the place that i do? why did others have to suffer so greatly? yes, it makes me wonder. though it makes me sad, at least i have the chance to be reminded how selfish i can be. how much i forget how i have all of the things that i need and more.

recently i have had so many questions. so many began with why? but i am blessed to have a husband who reminds me that God is a just God and that He has a plan. things i already knew but sometimes i let all of the injustices of life get in the way.

quick rambling about living space

i decided to make some blog posts about things that i think are different about living in italy. of them will be serious or even true but i think there are some fun or silly things that make life here so-not-"american." i don't mean to demean or offend anyone, i say that just in case. just because there are differences doesn't mean i think america is in any way superior to europe or anywhere else in the world. because in a lot of ways i think they have it right.

i'll start off with space. people try to conserve space. many people live in apartments (some of course live in really nice houses) and everything in the home is usually functional. there are plenty of people who are well-off who live in apartments, so it's not just like everyone in italy is poor so they have to live in a tiny little space. and besides, homes and apartments here, are just as expensive and often more expensive than places in chicago.

i really like my apartment, and gabriele and i are considering buying it when our contract expires in four years. it's a goodsize for us now, and we have one and a half extra rooms for when we have kids. a lot of families i know in europe have lived in way smaller places, so right now i don't see why i would need a house and i consider myself blessed to have what i have. the location is great, it's a nice and calm neighborhood. we live on via delle scuole, which means the street of the schools. so yeah, we have the kindergarten, elementary school, and middle school on our block right across the street. i like it.

i never understood why people need so much space. but it's not really the space that concerns me, it's the use of resources. big house, big use of energy. i'll talk about energy in another entry. but over the years my mind has changed about living space and today i legitimately ask myself whether or not i would want a bigger place in the future. if i had plenty of money to choose, would i live in a big house? if i have more than two or three kids i'd probably have to consider it. but right now i think an apartment is the best for me and for the environment.

i think there's often a misconception that if you're really successful then you'll leave your dinky apartment to move into a real house. i'm not saying houses are evil, i'm just saying that they're no better than apartments. having lived in different places, i feel extremely blessed to have what i have. and i haven't even seen the world. so i don't know exactly what i intended with my words, but i think we can all afford to take up a little less space.

on very not serious note, i love these pictures:

this is how we buy toilet paper sometimes. in america, this is what happens to toilet paper rolls if you accidentally step on them....in europe it's calling space-saving. :)

it's always about love

listening to general conference always brings inspiration. i have learned to listen to the message the spirit brings just for me. elder holland's words inspired me to be more humble and more generous. it strengthened in me the resolve to live a simple life and to help others. i had talked with gabriele about this before. but i want to use my resources to help those who really need it. i won't disclose my ideas because i think true service seeks no recognition. that sounds totally contradictory, but i hope you know what i mean. we all do things to help others and i am grateful for all the service i have received and for the people who so willingly give and who are an example to me.

elder packer talked a lot about repentance but the principles that spoke to me applied to a completely different part of my life. for me i took the lesson of forgetting the past and enjoying today and the beauty and happiness of today and the future. so i cleaned out my old e-mails from friendships that have long since been broken and whose words only seem to remind me of how i hurt all those years ago. i am happy with were i am and who i am and what i am doing. so i deleted those tangible evidences of past hurt because i don't need to remember them.

these past few days i have felt so lucky. i am married to my best friend. the man that makes me happy. i am confident and secure in his love for me and that is the best feeling in the world. i am so grateful for faithful and kind, loving husbands. there are amazing women in this world who really deserve good treatment. i was just lucky!

casa dolce casa

we are finally living in a place that feels more like a home. it's got furniture (...still waiting on our wonderful divano) and art and decoration and lighting and bedding and most of all the things that an apartment needs. but it feels so good to have a place you call your own. i love my first place. it suits us and to be honest we have even discussed buying it after our contract ends in four years. i think it's a great place and i like the location.

i always wondered how i would fare in the department of interior design. i was a bit anxious when we started shopping for things because i was like, is this gonna fit? will it look good? what about that other thing we have, will it work? as i have seen the apartment come together i am very satisfied with what gabriele and i have put together. i said from the beginning that i wanted simple but not empty. i never wanted to buy something just to buy it or because it was cheap. one thing my parents told me was to plan to buy whatever you buy once. i didn't settle. i was picky (i'm sure gabriele wouldn't mind elaborating on the hours of shopping). but i feel justified. things in italy are a lot more expensive than buying them in america. at least it seems that way. so when i needed something, i was picky. but i always knew that when i walked away from something i was only walking towards something better. :)

i'm really trying to get the apartment picture-ready. mostly because my mom keeps asking to see what the place looks like and because i think a lot of people are curious about my place because it's in italy (some think that's cool, others likely think i live in a tiny studio). i just like it because it's all me and all gabriele. everything we have is completely our style. it's modern, it's simple, and it's home. yeah, just a bunch of rambling.

will i keep it up?

so i created another blog. i'm not sure how well i'll manage it, but i thought i should "document" my life while i'm in italy. i can't quite call myself italian yet since i'm not yet legal.

for the past three weeks i have been living in italy. i love it. that could have something to do with the fact that i'm kind of still on a honeymoon. gabriele's job contract hasn't started yet, so we're together ALL the time. mostly we have been putting together our first apartment. we were really fortunate to find the best one on the first try. we met up with the real estate agent, looked at the apartment and said yes.

we are almost done painting (white) and we have been giving all of our money to ikea, aiazzone, conforama, and other stores. and the more and more we spend, the more and more we are grateful for our wedding gifts! gabriele is also very good at saving money so that's helped us out.

i'm really grateful for the blessings that i know are coming from Heavenly Father. it's hard not to see how he plays a part in all of this. everyday i keep thinking to myself that everything will work out and that God wants us to be happy. i haven't been worried about the future (which is more than strange for me).

i don't think gabriele and i have hit the "real world" yet, but we like what we have. i am happy where i am. happier than i thought i would be. it feels as if i were meant to live in italy. my life here is so different and in such a good way.